Fan-bidextrous/Transcript
opens up showing a close-up of an Ambidexter Comic Fanboy: gasp Ooh! Ambidexter, the two-fisted superhero, intwo-armed and dangerous! His left arm can beat up a criminal while his right arm draws him a get-well card! the comic down Oh, man! I wish I has two arms like that guy, think of all the amazing things I could do. Chum Chum: Uh, Fanboy? You already have two arms. Fanboy: Tcha, I wish! Chum Chum: Uh, right there, buddy. Fanboy: at his left arm, which madly waves like a snake Ah! snake! snake! Chum Chum: It's okay. it's okay, Fanboy! I'd like you to meet your left arm. Fanboy: brings his left arm forward and shakes it Oh, nice to meet you, left arm. Firm handshake. I like this guy. Chum Chum: I've been trying to get you two together for a while. Fanboy: his arms Woah. I have two arms. I have two arms! Oh, this is gonna open up a whole new world of possibility! the Frosty Freezy Freeze machine... Fanboy: Oh, I still can't believe I'm gonna pour a beverage with my left hand! Chum Chum: This is big time. Fanboy: Okay, lefty, let's see if you got what it takes to be a part of Team Fanboy. Chum Chum: Okay, focus! Fanboy: Yeah. Chum Chum: You got this one, you got it! Fanboy: his left hand toward the machine Oh, steady. Steady. Oh, oh, oh, gosh. handle ''Okay! ''handle releasing the freeze He's doing it, he's doing it! Oh, it feels like a stranger, this is so weird!'' '' shows the cup to Lenny Fanboy: What do you think, Lenny? Am I blowing your mind? Lenny: You're blowing my day. the register, which causes Fanboy's arm to act like a horse Fanboy: What's happening? Chum Chum: The register spooked it! Lenny: What's wrong with you? arm knocks Lenny's hat off his head Fanboy: It's not me. it's my arm! Whoa! into something Lenny: Hey, you bash it, you bought it. Chum Chum: Fanboy's arm Yee-haw! Ride 'em, ride 'em, ride 'em! Whoa! off Fanboy: Woah! out the door Chum chum! Don't forget to pick up toilet paper! the Fanlair, it is early next morning. Both alarm clocks go off. Fanboy smacks them both, Chum Chum isn't interested Fanboy: I'm two-handed! Montage! Fanboy: kitchen I can eat twice the cereal in half the time! cereal bathroom sink speaking, brushes teeth shower I can shampoo and condition! outside bathroom I can go number one and number two in one convenient visit. toilet and comes out. End of montage Fanboy: With these two hands, I! Am! Awesoooome! a little trick with his arms while making vrooming sounds school, he is still doing it as the class stares Hank: Pop quiz, hot shots! You got ten minutes! Fanboy: quiz Uh, Mr. Mufflin, I have a question. one hand, then the other Uh, and a follow-up question. Hank: Yes? Fanboy: Yes, should we put our names on top? Hank: Yes. Fanboy: And do we get points for putting our name on top? Hank: pause Nine minutes! leaves Fanboy: Chum Chum, that'll take forever the way you're doing it. Allow me. Chum Chum's name on his paper with both hands Chum Chum: giggles Your left hand is a copy cat. Fanboy: No, no. Chum Chum, I'm just a guy with two arms. And a leg. knuckles All right, let's do this thing! frantically while writing Cross the "I"...dot the "T"s...and...done! Ho-ho! Huh? around to see everyone still working on their quizzes I finished before everyone else! Ho, I've never done that before! Chum Chum, I finished before -- Chum Chum: Shh! I'm trying to think! Fanboy: Oh, right. sorry. I guess I'm just here with my thoughts. trills lips, pats on desk fanboy: Bah-bah-bah-bah < /> Bah-bah-bah Buh-buh buh-buh-buh-buh Buh-buh-buh-buh-oh-ah. pause Hey, Chum--oh, okay. pause lips Chum Chum: SHHHHH! Fanboy: Okay, okay. Tch, one-armers. pause while flapping his arms, then leans forward pause Psst, Chum Chum. Chum Chum. Chum Chum. Chum Chum. Chum Chum, Chum Chum, Chum Chum. pause Chum Chum, Chum Chum, Chum Chum, Chum Chum! Chum Chum: This better be important! Fanboy: Oh, oh, yeah, it is! Chum Chum: What? Fanboy: Pull my finger. Chum Chum: Fanboy, I'm trying to finish my test! Fanboy: mocking "I'm trying to finish my test!" raises arms, high voice Hey, Righty, wanna play a game? voice Duh, okay. bonks Lefty, and Lefty bonks Fanboy's head Woah, a wise guy, eh? starts to approach him, but Lefty stops him. Lefty does the same, Righty stops him. Righty does the same again, and Lefty stops him Class: laughing Lupe: He's doing the work of three eh-stooges. Fanboy: Hey, did you see that, Chum Chum? Hey, now that I've got two arms, I'm twice as funny! Watch your new... both fingers Class. Clown. Fankylechum's ears Fankylechum: The double wet willy. I thought that was purely theoretical. Class: laughing Fanboy: Say "Fanboy"! picture Hank: ...Then you carry the four and divide by zero. Fanboy: Oh, Mr. Mufflin! Hank: What the - ? grunt Fanboy: Over here. Hank: grunt Fanboy: No, over here. Hank: grunt Fanboy: Over there. Hank: grunt Fanboy: I meant over here. Hank: grunt Fanboy: Over here. Hank: grunt Fanboy: Telegram for Mr. Mufflin. Hank: grunt Fanboy: Over here. Hank: grunt laughs A frying pan! laughs I didn't seen that one coming. laughs Principal's office. laughs Detention. laughs Don't--don't come back. laughing Fanboy: the laughing kids' hands All right, I'm out. You guys have been great. Check you later. stay in school. the cafeteria, everyone sits down to see Fanboy perform onstage. The lights go out Fanboy: Ahem. farts Beethoven's 5th Symphony Kyle: Beethoven's Symphony for an armpit...in F minor. a tear from his eye My favorite. continues armpit farting the song. He then finishes Class: applause Hank: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone, I have an announcement to make! Fanboy Uh, well, if it's okay with you? Fanboy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hank: Good. The awards committee has voted to honor me with my handprints in the school sidewalk of fame. Chum Chum: Wow, it's a good thing you started that committee. Hank: And that I'm its only member. The vote was unanimous. Any-hoo, the ceremony's tomorrow. See you there. class leaves Fanboy: sneakily Yes, Mr. Mufflin, I'll be there, to give you a big hand. voice Or perhaps two. cackles Chum Chum: gasp You're not thinking about pranking Mr. Mufflin's ceremony. Fanboy: Chum Chum. levitates what is the sound of one hand clapping? Chum Chum: Uh, I don't know. Fanboy: Then I shall tell you. It's nothing! Silence! Because it takes two hands to make a big noise in this world, two hands! Preferably with joy buzzers in them. the audience the joy buzzers in his hands Now I have to think. There's got to be some amazing two-handed stunt I haven't tried. Think, fanboy, think. I've got it! his hands on his head, shocking him Oh, I smell fried chicken. of Fanboy working hard as a narrator explains his work Narrator: Fanboy worked on his prank with singular purpose and doubular hands, devising theories and then disproving them. Fanboy: over Yes, yes, yes! No, no, no, no, no! Narrator: He took inspiration from nature, and put it into action. Working, working, never sleeping. Sleeping, working while sleeping, sleeping while working, sleep-working, work-sleeping, slorking. of montage next day at school... Hank: I would like to thank the awards committee for bestowing on me this tremendous honor. Secondly, as the awards committee, I'd like to say to me...well-earned! laughter Class: applause Lupe: Chum Chum Where is Fanboy? We are all waiting for him to bring the steaming hot ha-ha. Duke: Yeah, what's he gonna do the the Mufflin, man? Do you know?!? The Mufflin, man! Chum Chum: All I know is, he said it's the side-splittingest, knee-slappingest, butt-gustingest, two-armed stunt ever! Kyle: Don't you mean "gut-bustingest"? Chum Chum: Maybe, but I'm not taking any chances. on a fire protection helmet, and hears a weird fart noise in the distance ''Hey! What's that sound? Kyle: It sounds as if the wind is breaking. Cher: Hey! Look up in the sky! the sky from the class's POV Duke: voiceover It's a bird! Lupe: voiceover It's a plane! Fankylechum: voiceover It is Fanboy! In some sort of bird plane! That mad genus, what is he up to? targets the location where the statue will be Hank: When I first created this award for myself... Fanboy: Target acquired! Arming the payload! a can of itching powder Itching powder, armed. a flock of seagulls uncontrollably charging for him Huh? Mayday, mayday! We got a first strike! out feathers, notices his itching powder is leaking Oh, boy, not good. Hank: Well, I guess dreams do... a tear from his eye come true. Fanboy: the itches on himself Don't think about how bad it itches, Fanboy! Think baseball, yes, baseball is fun. Uhh, uh, cars. Oh, cars, I like cars, cars are fun, cars, cars, cars. Uh, hot itching cars. No, no. I's so hard I just really gotta start itching! go of his flying gear and itches himself. A final seagull takes the umbrella on his head Uh...oh. onto Hank, who is leaning over the statue, splattering concrete everywhere Class: laughing Chum Chum: Oh, man! Fanboy, that's your best gag yet! rings, the class starts to leave Duke: That was great, man! Eh? Chris Chuggy: Wah, wah. leave Fanboy: Yep, yep, thanks, guys. I'd do it all for you. Hank: through teeth My special day is ruined! Fanboy: Hey, look on the bright side, Mr. Mufflin. How many other teachers have their very own statue? see that Hank is a statue with Fanboy stuck to him Hank: teeth Well, it's hardly my own with you attached! Fanboy: Hey! You think we'll attract pigeons? pigeon poops on Hank Hank: teeth Yep. Category:Transcripts